Security?

I've just been on the phone with the Inland Revenue which is no mean feat, I assure you. As much as we all complain about being held in queues, I'd rather that than hearing a voice say "All our advisers are currently busy, please try again later" and then the dial tone.

(The thing I wanted to talk to them about is somewhat irrelevant to this post; I had some savings that were gaining interest and I was paying tax on that interest so I'm trying to claim it back because I wasn't earning enough to pay that tax at the time. I sent off the correct form in December last year and was informed it had been forwarded from the Rugby office to the Newcastle one but then never heard anything else. Multiple phone calls have resulted in being told "wait longer". I've now been waiting over six months and it's getting a little silly. We're talking about around £400 of overpaid tax here.)

Anyway, I phoned up today to discuss it again and a 20-something call center operator asked me the following:
My full name and NI number,
and then, as a security check:
My address,
My date of birth,
My most recent employer.

I dutifully answered the questions and then was told "sorry, you've failed the security check".

"That's strange" I said, "What did I get wrong?"

Apparently he couldn't tell me, and said it would be more than his "jobsworth" to give away what secret piece of information didn't match with what I'd said. I guessed that perhaps it was my address, and proffered several other addresses that I've lived at in the last few years, to no avail. I got the feeling I was breaking the rules by even trying to correct possible invalid information.

I asked to speak to a manager and was put on hold again.

A woman came on the line and said she understood the situation but unfortunately she couldn't help me because I'd failed the security check. I asked her what she suggested I do and she said I should put my query in writing and they'd be able to help me then. Hold on a second, back up there, it's secure if I write to you and give you no particular information at all, but not if I speak to you on the phone? "That's just procedure." She said. I asked why someone would want to pretend to be me to try and get overpaid tax refunded directly into my account and she wasn't sure. I asked how writing a letter is inherently more secure than speaking on the phone and she wasn't sure about that either. I asked if I could write a letter notifying them of a change of address to the Outer Hebrides and then phone up and tell them that address to pass the security check and she told me that it was JUST PROCEDURE, OKAY? I like to imagine that she then stuck her fingers in her ears and yelled LA LA LA for several minutes.

The part that really pisses me off is that it's not like any of the information they asked me for is classified stuff. Any number of people could phone up and offer all that information about you or me. I realise they need to check they are talking to the right person, but asking your date of birth certainly doesn't achieve that. It's a false security.

I am tempted to call them up and fraudulently pass a few security checks using friends' names and then yell "PSYCHE!" and hang up, just to show how easy it would be.

Meanwhile, I have no idea what to do about the outstanding £400.